Usually, when I’m about to part on a vacation, I feel a little more upbeat than I do right now. Usually, I’m relaxing, reading the tourist guide, happily talking it over with the husband. Tonight, I am tense, making a list of everything we need, considering all that may go wrong. Welcome to life with a baby, I suppose. I’ve had mixed feelings about this trip since I booked it months ago. Spending twelve hours in airports and planes - it’s exhausting to think about. Will Baby sleep at all? Will he scream during much of the flight? He’s cutting four teeth, simultaneously, right now. Plus, he seems to have a stomach bug, judging from the diaper contents. Everyone know planes are full of germs, and I don’t want him to get sicker. And I didn’t book him his own seat. Should I have? If there is even a hint of turbulence, I’m sure I’ll be anxious. I’ve got a list of worries a mile long, folks.

Why is it having a baby has made me into such a worrier? I’m always imagining the things that could go wrong, always playing the what-if game. What if he gets sick? What if he falls out of bed? Sometimes I put my hand on him at night, even at risk of waking him up, just to make sure he is still breathing. I did have a tendency toward worrying before, but my-word has it amplified. It seems every fiber of my being is tied up in that child. Honestly, it’s hard for me to relax. I don’t know if I am over-the-top, or if it just goes with the territory.

On the rational side, I’m sure all will be fine. In fact, I’m sure we’ll feel great, once we are there - Lord knows we need a vacation, after seven months pent-up with a new baby on our hands. I’m sure no one will have the measles on the plane (he hasn’t had his MMR!). I have a suspicion Loulou will be on good behavior, as he usually is when we go out. I’m sure the turbulence won’t send him flying out of my arms and across the plane, like a baby-missal aiming to take out the passenger in seat 34C. Yes, rationally, I’m sure it will go reasonably well. But darn-it if those mother worries don’t keep creeping in my mind.