Stream of Consciousness

Spring break has come and nearly gone, already forgotten. I don’t know what I’ve done all week, besides the few hours I’ve spent painting and the two books I’ve read. Last night I dreamed I was presenting a lesson on nutrition to first graders, and I was completely unprepared. I realized one of my professors had come to watch me teach, and I began to cry hysterically. I couldn’t pull it together; just kept bumbling around, as my professor yelled and berated me.
I think it was a sign that I need to refocus. Six more weeks to go. I’ll give myself one last hard push, though this is all such a drag. I’m looking forlornly at my unfinished painting; I don’t want to lose my groove.
Ah well – such is life. We’re supposed to be moving here in two and a half weeks. We found this big lovely house and we’re all so happy. As it turns out, we’re not made to be renters – we’re home people. We’ve always filled our weekends working on our home, planning and building. So, we get aimless here, in a house that needs nothing done for it. And, strange though it is, I get emotionally attached to my home. I need for it to be my own. I need to feel “at home.”
Lou is doing well. I marvel at how sweet and polite he’s become. He’s a good boy, and takes life as it comes. Yesterday we took him to an indoor water park, so we could say we did something fun for spring break. He was so confident in the water; what a change from last August, when he wouldn’t even set foot in the water during the swimming lessons we had signed up for ( I was so frustrated then, but how quickly everything changes). After we had our fill of water slides, we paused in the arcade. Lou wanted to play ski ball, but we didn’t have any cash, and we weren’t able to buy tokens with our credit card. Oh well – he left without complaint. It was I that was disappointed – as he grows older, there are necessarily fewer and fewer “firsts” to share with him. We’ve never done ski ball before.